PALM COAST, FL – April 1, 2018 – Damn the turtles, full speed ahead. GoToby.com has learned that a move is underway to open Flagler County’s 18 miles of Atlantic beaches to vehicular traffic.
Pro-growthers have finally gained the ear of the Board of County Commissioners. In a series of underpublicized workshops, Commissioners, in consort with developers and the Chamber of Commerce, have developed a plan to divert all northbound traffic from A1A to the beach for its entire 18-mile transit through Flagler County. The existing paved highway will be reserved for southbound traffic. Commissioners plan to use Eminent Domain to procure the land necessary to construct access ramps to the beach from the highway.
Scenic Byway A1A has faced mounting traffic since the economic recovery. Businesses and developers hoping to capitalize on the coastal area’s growing popularity by expanding their business or by building more beachfront houses and condominiums have encountered fierce resistance from environmentalists; NIMBYs (Not In My Back Yard) and CAVE people (Citizens Against Virtually Everything). Note: A developer is someone who wants to build houses at the beach. An environmentalist is someone who already owns a house at the beach.
Flagler Beach Parking
Having gotten wind of the county’s plan, Flagler Beach Commissioners are already planning to piggyback by allowing beach parking within the city limits. Commissioners reason that beach parking will allow them to kick their “parking congestion” can down the road for at least ten more years, or until another commission is in place.
The success of parody and satire is enhanced by its proximity to reality. GoToby.com reminds you that today is APRIL FOOLS DAY. I hope you enjoyed reading this farcical piece as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Toby Tobin: REALTOR®, SRES®
I am a REALTOR® licensed by the State of Florida and Seniors Real Estate Specialist, SRES®, with Grand Living Realty, where 'The GoToby Team' helps fellow aged 50+ buyers and sellers achieve improved outcomes in real estate transactions by integrating real estate decisions with other age-related decisions/plans through my broad network of respected service providers; financial, wills, trusts, probate, insurance, healthcare, home services, recreation, lifestyle, estate planning, and adult living facilities.
Take advantage of my "Been there. Done that." experience, typically at no additional cost to you. Call me at (386) 931-7124 or email me at Toby@GoToby.com.